In today's SF Chronicle by Jon Carroll

"With a heavy dose of fear and violence, I think we can convince these people that we are here to help them."

-- Col. Nathan Sassman, brigade commander, Fourth Infantry Division, on the pacifying of the village of Abu Hishma in Iraq

"You have to understand the Arab mind. The only thing they understand is force -- force, pride and saving face."

-- Capt. Todd Brown, company commander, Fourth Infantry Division, on the same event

The American is a crafty little fellow. Oh, he can be all smiles welcoming you into his village. Often he will ask after your family and offer you a fruit drink. He will admire your rifle and remark on the sleek lines of your tank in his front yard.

But turn your back for just one minute, and he's on you like a flash, praying to his "god" to give him strength to protect his "sacred land."

But he does understand force. He is not stupid, your American. Ignorant, brutal, rapacious and underhanded in business dealings -- yes, I grant you that. But we must never underestimate his cunning. He takes every show of friendship as a display of weakness. Under cover of night, he will sneak down to the Dairy Queen parking lot you have made your temporary HQ and, armed only with a hunting rifle, take potshots at coalition forces. We neutralize him soon enough -- still, it's a continuing problem.

Fear and violence are effective. If you take a few American bodies and hang them from poles in front of the mall, well, he gets the picture. He's not so bloody brave after that.
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Now I am all for finding free food, but VP Dick Cheney seems to like to take it to the extreme. On a recent hunting trip Uncle Dick reportedly shot more than 70 birds. The event was described by the senior vice president of The Humane Society as not (...) a hunting ground. It was an open-air abattoir.

Why does the last bagel (or the last half of the last bagel) in every meeting not get eaten?
Or is it just the ones I go to....

In case the previous coupons left you with extra cash that is burning a hole in your pockets, try this link.

Everyone likes coupons, right? Here are some online and in-store "Friends & Family discount links. Enjoy and Happy Christmas!

Looking down while walking can yield the odd bit of cash here and there (remember: a penny is 1/100th of a dollar)- although with all the wet weather we are having of late, you might be more like to find a worm.

How many worms would it take to make a buck?