Siberian Beachfront Resort Will Employ Millions

From Slashdot, in reply to an article about the
Siberian tundra melting down, a hilarious yet painful
Goofus and Gallant themed comparison of real
scientists and astroturf-browsing shills:

GOOFUS wears street clothes to work, maybe a lab suit
on occasion.
GALLANT wears three piece suits at all times.

GOOFUS is employed by a "university", a "hospital", or
a "laboratory".
GALLANT is employed by a "Coalition", an "Institute",
an "Association", a "Foundation", a "Council", or a
"White House".

GOOFUS earns $30000 per year unless they cut his
funding.
GALLANT earns $200000 per year but makes his real
money from speaking fees.

GOOFUS lives anywhere in the country.
GALLANT lives in a wealthy area near Washington DC,
but may have additional homes elsewhere.

GOOFUS may sometimes be filmed standing in front of
big melting icebergs.
GALLANT may be filmed sitting in front of a bookcase
or standing behind a podium at a $2000 per plate
fundraiser, although there may be ice melting in his
drink.

GOOFUS is a dues-paying member of several scientific
grassroots organizations.
GALLANT is on the payroll of several scientific
astroturf organizations.

GOOFUS gets summoned for jury duty but is never picked
as a juror.
GALLANT claims "the jury is still out" on evolution or
global warming, since he considers himself to be on
the jury.